At work.....brainstorming, drinking coffee and most importantly still feeling really sleepy.I fell asleep early yesterday but it seems my body is still on recovery mode.I'm sleepy and tired and I need more sleep, Hoping to get two hours of sleep before I have to get ready for tonights show.
I find myself in a situation of ? I don't know what I want to do, I don't know if I want to stay I'm being very vague about it.But you know when you get that gut feeling in your tummy? and it hurts because you sense something negative? well that's where i'm at. I don't know what to believe, I don't know if I want to continue or I want to just run from it.It seems the easier option would be to just let it be and leave it behind. It sounds like the cowards way out right?
I don't know if seeing friends getting married and having kids,couples moving in with each other, reminds me of how the years are passing by.
Then i talk to myself and i convince myself that life isn't a competition, that things will slowly fall into place when I'm ready. I can't picture myself having kids or the marriage the whole cookie cutter story just isn't me i feel like i have to work extra hard for everything that i want to accomplish and set out to the universe.I'm the one thats slowly pulling myself back, i'm my own enemy, i talk to myself out of doing things that aren't in my comfort zone. I guess we are all going through it in some way or another.
Why does it always get dark? just when i think things are slowly getting better?
why when its too good to be true it is?
why even bother?
I'm tired of coming across dishonest people.
With that being said the last 5 months of this year are about me and me being good to myself.
Eliminating the negative and then i'll go from there.
No comments:
Post a Comment