The Art of panic.

Im torn and more ..
 worn out like your favorite band tee.
Been somewhat since the day i was born
Like it was just yesterday that i was dragged on to the shore not preserved but rotten to the core
Maybe its what i deserve
Just pull the next door
Move on where theres no mark or dent
You can start brand new
These tears are ruining this wooden floor

The record player plays in the distance
I want to hear nothing more than "to be alone" on repeat.
My view doesnt let me look past this
With no way of knowing if im being fed something real
My never ending craving of something pure...
Dont want to be lured into a blur and end up on the other side of that empty road like the last time...

Sunday.

Here's a cute photo of someone's mini donut order from work. ^_^ if you haven't you should stop by & try the yellow carrot donut plus the coffee & cambria its soooooo delicious & now by thinking about it im having a drooling Homer moment.
I dont have much to say today but uhhh..
I get to have the next 3 days off i believe. ^_^
I'm starving & it's been a little more than a month since I've been sober.
Like i said in my old entry my skin looks great, I'm not bloated & its nice to wake up without my head throbbing.
Last night i was at a show Peter Hook & the light & i enjoyed myself, got to hear some joy division & new order material. Scoring free tickets is my latest trend! It actually works!
What more can i tell you?
The weather is finally starting to feel less hot,  & going to the grocery store and seeing all the thanksgiving food on sale is kinda exciting.
I'm determined to have a vegan thanksgiving this time around. I've been up since 10 am ...looking at recipes. Home cooking at home has become another thing we've been doing lately. It saves money & we don't waste 40 - 50 bucks a night.
I do miss the late dinners at Ten Ramen .....

You can find me napping....

I was in the presence of Billie Eilish not too long ago..it was magical. 

In other news....

Welp.

Its official....i will probably have no days off for the next three months.My workaholic ass thought it'd be cool to get a seasonal job..no regrets i suppose. Anything to make that extra cash. I come home smelling like donuts..& everything sweet & the next day i wear a red shirt & stock up beauty products.This is it ...two completely different types of environments i rarely get to see my cats now but i know it'll be worth it..theyll get new stuff & their food cabinet is ALWAYS packed. My oldest D.Mcmittens is very vocal about his meals. I think he might've been some sort of king in his past life. 

 I've been listening to nothing but Type O negative, Peach Kelli Pop, Creature Feature & Madonna.

And whatever the meow plays in his car 😅

He's officially a stay at home wife...the other day he made pumpkin waffles & i gotta say they were...so fucking delicious. A + for presentation...even chef Ramsey would've approved. He makes the foods and i eat it & sometimes i makes the food. 

Umh...idk how we're getting by but there's a lot of coupons & smart spending being done.

Mini rant time.

A lot of people have been asking me why i left the dog place ...& here's the tea i can finally express myself on how i feel. Why? Because fuck them that's why Instead of faking a smile & pretending that everything was ok. The truth is I'm done with the dog place & quite frankly i REALLY wish i wouldve left earlier like two years ago ..it was completely under payed not even the minimum.

The owner is a trump supporter & full on anti feminist. There i said it! He gives no shits about the dogs just about making money ..that is why he sold the place to two inexperience business owners..& they're clearly NOT dog lovers. They dont know the first thing about working with animals.The place went the first four years with fully exposed windows & then they decided to cover them up all of a sudden ...because its whats best for the dogs but every single fucking time i would go in for my shift the dogs were unsupervised shit & piss EVERYWHERE. While the new owner's wife would be sitting in the front desk as if she was too high up to walk in there & pick up dog poop like c'mon man...youre managing a business thats going downhill quick. Show that you care a little.Everything changed in a matter of 2 weeks,prices went up, rules were different, the person closing had more work to do because little miss boss was too fucking lazy to scrub daycare in the mornings like its ALWAYS been done. Every time she had a complaint she would approach it with attitude, & i sure as hell was not gonna take orders from a ghetto 24 year old that has no fucking clue what shes doing.No thank you! I tried to be nice & helpful in the beginning but it was pointless ...hours were being cut faster than the blink of an eye. During the first years i saw so many dogs get mistreated, i saw so many employees loose their jobs, being taken advantage of, not being paid correctly or on time. We wouldn't get lunches, their thing was eat whenever you get the chance.
Lunch didnt start happening till this year because he couldn't afford to pay us. 

Dogs would get into fights & the owner didnt wanna reach out to the client he always refused to talk to them...unsatisfied clients that would go in for grooming were the first to be ignored.
There was a dog that got lost about a year ago & the way the owner handled that situation was completely careless, irresponsible he was too much of a pussy to talk to the dogs parents. He hid behind his employees & constantly came up with lame excuses that he was busy & he let my manager at the time handle it on her own and it should've never have been like that to begin with. That is why he has a few law suits going on ...

Long story short i gave my two weeks & even though it hurt that i wasnt going to see my furry pals again i knew itd be for the best.My co-worker would still be there taking care of them. 

Here's the thing if you REALLY care about your dog go to a doggy daycare where there's cameras, listen to your dog when he looks too scared to walk in, make sure the owners are friendly & they are welcoming to your pet. 

I never thought id be one of those people in Silverlake but it is truly a shit show business.

Do not support bone sweet bone. 

Their yelp page is filled with nothing but fake reviews some are real..about 5% to be honest with you.  

Anyways end rant. 

Goodbye Spooky season ...hello Orange & yellow leaves.

....and just like that another Halloween gone by. I spent it sick in bed watching spooky films & hanging with the meows. Mr.Kitty felt bad so he brought me food. Our plans to go out that night were canceled & today i started my day off at the doctors.. 3 needles later... They couldnt find my vein so they ended up poking me in 3 different spots. I felt guilty calling off from work & this is completely my fault for waiting and not going in for my problem sooner. I've got my pills & plenty of naps. 

This afternoon my cuddle bud is Church the grey kitten.Every day that passes she gets a teeny bit bigger. I was at Rite Aid earlier today & i saw all the Thanksgiving decor & Xmas & realized shoot the next two months are gonna fly by & before you know it it'll be new year! Its intense! 

& here i am trying to figure things out... 

Anyways till next time.